Roy Keane is doing an excellent job. He has just lost an important local derby match 4-1; his team has lost six (or however many games it is) in succession, and the Ipswich Town
It is a well-known fact that, until recently, Keane had a dog. A great lover of man’s best friend, it is hard to imagine Keane not taking his dog for a walk. Its absence has probably left a big hole in his life and he probably wants a replacement. Considering the man has a busy life and should not be distracted from his great work, he needs something that will fit in with his lifestyle and suit his needs.
As dogs like considerable exercise every day, and Keane is busy instructing his players on how to secure relegation to League One, he needs something that is low maintenance.
How about a cat? They are cute, fluffy, nice to cuddle and do not need to be taken for a walk. Sounds ideal for a man as important as Keane doesn't it?
Well...
Considering the old adage “dogs have masters and cats have servants”, it is very unlikely that Keane would get himself some feline company. Cats, loveable creatures that they are, are quite highly strung. They sit around with a pretentious look on their faces; they twitch their whiskers in the very presence of someone deemed unworthy or inferior. Frankly, the body language of a feline would not suit someone with Keane’s personality. After all, it is hard to see him bowing to the demands of a fluffy moggy demanding more food, so sadly that will not work.
How about a goldfish? They swim around all day, do not require much food, but have a short memory. They probably forget who their owner is, which, in this case, would benefit the goldfish.
Or, how about a rabbit? They hop around and have more mobility than Tamas Priskin. However, they need to have their hutches cleaned out on a daily basis, so that will be too demanding for busy Roy.
How about a hamster? They are small, cuddly, oh, and easy to pack away when moving to a new club.
Sorted!
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